you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
