I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
