My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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