I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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