so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
