Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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