Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
