yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
