The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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