i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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