Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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