Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
