On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize