I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
