The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
