so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
