As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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