It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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