Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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