im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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