I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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