Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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