We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
