its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
