I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
