I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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