he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
