Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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