If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
