zippers are such a cool invention
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize