if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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