she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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