I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
