You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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