Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
