Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The feeling are messing with the penis
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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