i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
