please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
