Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
