we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm jealous of your bromance
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
