i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I want is dick and wine.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
