You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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