so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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