Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
