i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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