no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
