I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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