I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
