I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My bed smells like the plague
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
