Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
