Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize