Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
