I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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