She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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