Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
