She is in my trunk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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