i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
