my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
