You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
