Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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