i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
